There was a time in my life, where I lusted after everything new and shiny. Canon was bringing out a new L lens? I must have it I thought. The funny thing was however I never considered the context in which it was to be used. Perhaps I was too young, too much a novice in the realm of photography. But imagining that 70-200 2.8 on my Digital Rebel XT was almost more than I could bare. Never mind the fact that it was a telephoto, I wanted it. I suppose now it is a better thing that I have spent so much buying random cameras for my collection. Although they are not all used on a regular basis, they pointed me in a direction that I would one day realize I wanted to go.
I look at it like getting a new suit. You try on the jacket, make sure it fits right in the right spots. Then the pants, and do the same thing. Take it off, try on a different size or get it adjusted to you. This was how I was with cameras. trying new ones out all the time, getting the right fit for me. Did I want pinstripes? Navy? Perhaps I wanted to get a courdory jacket with the patches on the sleeves (full disclosure I have two of those). But in the end I didn't realize the exact suit I wanted, no did I have one that fit correctly. But it worked well enough for the one time out of the year that I would use it.
So then the problem came of what to do with my old suit? I didn't wear it much anymore, it was starting to get dated. And I had the opportunity to get a fine tailored one. These were the questions I began to ask myself about 3 weeks ago. When details of the Fuji Xpro-1 first started to emerge. it looked to be a wonderful camera. One that might actually get me to use my digital more. It had the right form factor, a nice new set of electronics thanks to new technology. And if it was priced right I would be very interested. The problem was prices started to pop up. And they were much more than I expected. But here I was with the mindset that I was finally ready to let go of my Canon dSLR gear. And nowhere to go with it. So my mind wandered, and came back to the same question I was asking myself a year ago?
What if I went all film?
I had pondered it a lot, at the time I was already shooting mostly film. But part of me just couldn't let it go. It was my only real camera that was a serious investment. I had scrimped and saved to get enough pennies to build myself a somewhat respectable kit of gear. But that gear sat and sat and sat. During 2011 I used it (other than snapshots) one time. Once. No matter what it is if you only use it one time during the year, it may be best to let it go.
This mentality finally hit me hard when earlier this week I wandered into Pro Photo Supply here in Portland Oregon. Although I feel as though many of my tales posted here start this way, this one has a happy ending. Sitting inside the case were 4 cameras that had caught my eye. 4 Leica cameras, an M3, M4, and two M6s. I had always lusted over the M6, especially in black. It was the camera that I thought I would never be able to look at in person. Let alone touch. The kind of camera that dreams are made of, and when a 17 year old kid is developing his first roll of film in a high school photo class... It is the camera he is thinking "someday, someday maybe I will be able to own a tool like that". And then here I was, staring two of them right in the face, and all I had to do was ask to hold them.
But even after doing that. It still felt like a pipe dream, on the drive home I thought could I really do it? This would be a large tradition for me. Really committing to the art and going the direction I had wanted to go inside, but still felt as if I needed the digital to get work and advance as a photographer. But I had one more stop to make on the way home. A smaller camera store in Beaverton called Advance Camera. I cannot speak highly enough of these guys, their work is truly fantastic. I've mentioned them before in the blog but it never hurts to bring them up again. As I walked in I gazed, checked out the Leica M2 that they have had for some time now, and talked it up with Jordan behind the counter.
We had often chatted about what we were doing photographically. I mentioned my prior thoughts and asked him off the cuff if they would be interested in my digital gear. He threw a price at me I thought was fair, so I took it home and sat on it.
It was then that curiosity got the best of me. I watched videos, read reviews, looked at pictures (both of and from the camera) and lusted over a fine crafted piece of machinery such as this. I walked up, went to my closet, grabbed all my digital gear and boxed it up ready to go back to the store then and there. But I didn't, I sat back down and looked at it again. This was going to be harder than I thought.
The next morning arrived and it was still sitting beside my desk. I glared at it as if the gear itself was the problem. Not my inability to make a decision. I went back into my usual slouch, thinking to myself of all the good times I had with digital. Shooting family portraits, taking quick snapshots of my photography gear. Geeking out over the latest sensor specs. But I looked at the digital display sitting before me and realized it had nothing of what I wanted, or do want to get from photography. Because it is about passion, and passion is what drives you to work better, longer and harder. Improving yourself as you go along. I use film to improve, using the digital would be taking steps backwards. It was sad, but time for it to go.
Fast forward to today. A nice black Leica M6 classic is en route to my house. I also grabbed a Jupiter 12 lens to throw on it in the meantime. I know I'm not getting the best out of the camera by using a nice lens, but it will have to suffice. Besides, I have other things to get me along. I just published my first book through blurb, a photographic journey shot on film through 3 short days in Boston, MA. I used one camera, because that was all I had. Next month I will be going to Seattle, WA for 3 days and intend to do the same thing. Use one camera with one lens, not because it is all I have. But because it is all I want to use.
